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TE-Kalidor
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Joined: Tue Jun 28, 2005 7:01 am
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Post Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 8:10 am    Post subject:
 
:?
Where's Gandy?



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Pengwin wrote:
Hmm
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TE-Hammy
Spends 8.56 hours posting on this forum.

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Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2005 5:43 pm
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Post Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 7:30 pm    Post subject:
 
off being old somewhere :\


This is not the sandwich you are looking for. Move along.
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Ze Sechs-fire wrote:
[22:00] [df]Braveskin: Can AfroMuffin spend the night at my house?
[22:00] [df]Braveskin: I have movize
[22:00] Hammy: No. You'll touch him.
[22:00] Hammy: With gusto.
[22:00] Hammy: He's not even a day old, pedophile.
[22:00] Hammy: >:l
[22:00] [df]Braveskin: plez!!
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TwiZtid
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Post Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:21 pm    Post subject:
 
I'm gonna wipe the floor with all of you, I'm gonna make you read for 15 minutes! I get bored in school so I make up jokes even blonde jokes though I'm blonde lol.

Ugly Jokes:

Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, No Professionals."

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.

Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow.

Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

Yo momma so ugly they filmed, "Gorillas in the Mist," in her shower.

Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras.

Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say ,"Damn, is it Halloween already?"

Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours...for a quote!

Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!

Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Yo momma so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.

Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

Yo momma so ugly that when she cries the tears run down the back of her head because they're afraid of her face!!

Yo momma so ugly that her face will make a freight train take a dirt road!

Yo momma so ugly the NHL banned her for life.

Yo momma so ugly, she walked into taco bell and they all ran for the border!

Yo momma so ugly people go ask her for Halloween.

Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.

Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Stupid Jokes:

Yo momma so stupid, she studied for a drug test!

Yo momma so stupid, she thought, "Wu Tang" was an African orange drink!

Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.

Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put, "O.K."

Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.

Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.

Yo momma so stupid she took an umbrella to see Purple Rain.

Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends.

Yo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was, "Illegitiment" because she couldn't read.

Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind.

Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.

Yo momma so stupid she asked you, "What is the number for 911?"

Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.

Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?" she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."

Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!

Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.

Yo momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.

Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

Yo momma so stupid that under, "Education," on her job application, she put, "Hooked on Phonics."

Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.

Lots of fat jokes:

Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!! "

Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled, "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

Yo momma fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Yo momma is so fat her waist size is equator!

Yo momma so fat she went bungee jumping and went strait to hell!

Yo momma so fat shes on both side of the family.

Yo momma so fat when she walks around in Texas in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

Yo momma so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he told her to move her fat ole ass over!

Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.

Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections!

Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yo momma so fat she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says, "To be continued."

Yo momma so fat her nickname is, "DAY-UM!"

Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo momma so fat we're in her right now.

Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise.

Yo momma so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.

Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.

Yo mamma so fat, you have to roll over twice to get off her...

Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world.

Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling, "Free Willy!"

Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!

Yo momma so fat, she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay!"

Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people say, "Taxi!"

Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.

Yo momma so fat, she got to iron her pants on the driveway.

Yo momma so fat I've known her all my life ... and I still haven't seen ALL of her!

Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.

Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th.

Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.

Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear, "Caution! Wide Turn."

Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read, "One at a time, please."

Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code!

Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen!

Yo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!

Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...

Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yo momma so fat , her legs are like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side!

Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.

Yo momma so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!

Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!

Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!

Yo momma so fat her belly button's got an echo.

Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

Yo momma so fat she uses a pillow case as a sock.

Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!

Blonde Jokes:

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!

Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.

Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.

Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
A: One that never misses a period.

Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.

Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.

Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her name tag) ?
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"

Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.

Q: Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?
A: She got cold and turned off the fan.

Q: Why did the blonde have square tits?
A: Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde that invented the solar flashlight?
Submitted by: Anthony Sandoval

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievement?
A: An IN-body experience!

Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?
A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ears.

Sorry if its to much.

Probably busted your lungs reading these :D 8) :D :shock:



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92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you are part of the 8% who still listen to real music, copy and paste this into your signature.
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TwiZtid
Needs a life

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Joined: Sat Sep 24, 2005 12:10 pm
Posts: 388
Location: Outside Your Window.
Post Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 6:29 pm    Post subject:
 
Sorry about double posting. I thought I should mention the blonde jokes, my friends made them up.


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92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you are part of the 8% who still listen to real music, copy and paste this into your signature.
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